[Comedy Cares] Shadows: Unintended Consequences of Emotional Suppression

The consequences of emotional suppression and adhering strictly to traditional masculine norms can be profound. Typically, these conditions create the environment where “shadows” are formed in a man’s psychological makeup.

“In psychology, according to Carl Jung, the concept of the “shadow” refers to the unconscious and often repressed aspects of the self that an individual finds unacceptable or undesirable,” explains Dr. Lev. “The shadow consists of the parts of ourselves that we have disowned, denied, or suppressed due to cultural or societal conditioning.

Psychological shadows are like hidden parts of a person’s mind. They develop when people try to fit in with society’s rules and hide parts of themselves that don’t seem acceptable. Society teaches us how to behave, but sometimes we suppress our true feelings or desires to match those rules. These hidden parts can affect our thoughts and actions without us even realizing it. They can cause conflicts inside us which force these hidden psychological factors to create patterns that play out over and over again in your life. 

Patterns such as:

• Relationship Patterns: A person who experienced abandonment in their past may develop a shadow that causes them to fear intimacy, leading them to push away partners or avoid forming deep connections or failing to leave an abusive relationship.
• Self-Criticism: Shadows can fuel self-critical thoughts and a negative self-image such as an individual with a shadow of unworthiness may constantly berate themselves, doubting their abilities and feeling undeserving of success or happiness.
• Projection: Someone who denies their own anger may constantly perceive others as angry or aggressive, reflecting their own unresolved emotions.
• Addictive Behaviors: Shadows can contribute to addictive behaviors as individuals attempt to escape or numb their hidden emotions. For example, someone with repressed sadness or trauma may turn to substance abuse or excessive gambling as a way to avoid facing their painful experiences.

It is important to note that these are just a few examples, and shadows can manifest in various ways depending on the individual’s unique experiences and the depth of their emotional suppression. More important is that this can be a root cause of the same negative life experiences repeating over and over again. The feeling of being trapped and lack of progress in a given area of your life but you can’t figure out why. The reasons for which remain unknown, elusive and just out of reach to you.

“The detrimental effects of traditional masculinity on a man’s mental health include increased rates of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, as well as higher suicide rates. The expectations to be strong, unemotional, and invulnerable can create a sense of internal conflict, making it difficult for men to seek help or express their emotions, which can negatively impact their overall well-being,” says Dr. Lev.

Because at the heart of shadows lies self-sabotage. That, and the inability to grow past a certain point due to an underlying subconscious cause. The result of which is that it keeps pulling an individual back to that limitation.

By AskMan