Me: Mom, I need a lunchbox. Today I don’t have money to buy food when I get to work.
Mom: Take the blue one on top of the fridge
Me: You mean that old one with no lid?
Mom: Oh, mtanam, you are lazy. The lid is in the cupboard.
Me: Mara mama, why don’t you just let me take that nice one inside the room divider?
Mom: My Tupperware?!
Me: Yes. At least it’s better than the one you want me to take.
Mom: The day I let you take my Tupperware is the day I die. Or you want me to die now? You want me to die so you can do whatever you want with my Tupperware? You want to take that Tupperware and drink with your friends and I’ll never see it again?! Okay, I see, you want to control me. You want to control my house! You want to turn my house into a shebeen with no Tupperware just you and your friends doing parties and breaking everything!
Me: That escalated quickly.
Mom: I don’t care, it escalated quickly or escalated slowly. You. Are. Not. Taking. My. Tupperware. Finish and klaar!
That’s how moms used to be when it came to Tupperware. Moms love us, but they love their Tupperware a little bit more. Tupperware is to moms what a WiFi password is to you, so f***en precious. But there’s a new kid on the block, it’s called Homechoice. The day moms discovered Homechoice the world changed. Have you seen how lonely Tupperware sales people look these days? They used to be the most wanted (until it was time for payment) now Tupperware salespeople are just like the score of a Bafana Bafana friendly, only a few people still care. Homechoice has come and swept our moms off their feet. Homechoice pots, in my humble opinion, are the worst, they burn food because they are just too damn fast. I also hate Homechoice blankets, they are too damn hot, I never know what to do. “Should I have one leg out? Should I sleep naked? Should I take this blanket to the tailor and have him take it from 3 ply down to 2 ply or maybe just ply?”
They used to be the most wanted (until it was time for payment) now Tupperware salespeople are just like the score of a Bafana Bafana friendly, only a few people still care. Homechoice has come and swept our moms off their feet. Homechoice pots, in my humble opinion, are the worst, they burn food because they are just too damn fast. I also hate Homechoice blankets, they are too damn hot, I never know what to do. “Should I have one leg out? Should I sleep naked? Should I take this blanket to the tailor and have him take it from 3 ply down to 2 ply or maybe just ply?”
Moms brag about things when they are chilling over some tea, or what I’d like to call a “Mom’s Conference”. They brag about their children’s achievements, they brag about who has the strongest husband and sometimes who is best at controlling the husband. They even brag about that one time they ran into Rebecca Malope in 2008. But the winner of the bragging session is the one who has the most Homechoice things, she can even take them to the bedrooms and show them the blankets, curtains and the pots in the kitchen. It’s a tour of the house but it strictly focuses on Homechoice things. So if you’re thinking of surprising your mom next Mother’s Day I suggest you open a Homechoice account for her, don’t let her open one herself though, you know how excited they get with debt.
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